And from what I’ve seen in my practice, it’s an agonizing choice, especially when the current relationship is at least somewhat satisfying.
So essentially I’m along for the ride as people decide what is in their best interests as well as the other parties involved.
Even if you think you know the right choice, you can’t give it to the client. Others will stay put and feel that permanent imprint tugging at them.
Although not everyone thinks of that relationship for more than a passing moment or so, some must wonder what it would be like to rekindle the romance they had when they were teenagers or college-aged. Normally, most marriages that begin as affairs terminate.“The reunion is a continuation of a love that was interrupted.” Carey Goldberg notes some research indicates that a teenager may attach specifically to a first lover in much the same way as a baby attaches to a mother. Linda Waud, a Psychologist who wrote her dissertation on three reunited couples.“There is an actual neurological attachment that happens between these individuals,” she said, “and that’s why it’s enduring and it never leaves your mind. Waud herself reconnected with a long-lost love after 35 years apart. Nancy Kalish had studied over 2,000 “lost love” relationships.How are these people reconnecting and why would the relationship work at a later date?Do you believe that your one true love is actually someone from your past?Do you often think about “what could have been” with an old flame?The interviewer, Carey Goldberg, noted an anonymous respondent from Dr.Kalish’s research to highlight this point: “It’s like you’re falling in love all over again,” she said.In her in-depth interviews of the three couples, she noted that they had unusually intense sexual connections, which made her posit that sexual attachment may work with the same kind of specificity as baby-mother attachment.Although a dissertation with only three couples makes generalization extremely difficult, she is onto something. Kalish pointed out: that the former love is simply a fantasy and that one’s current relationship can satisfy this new need.