I think it’s partially my fault, since following your advice, I got out and dated more than one guy at the beginning and did not call the guys but generally waited for them to call (new concept for me and it actually worked, thanks! Eventually he rose to the top and we started dating exclusively and I continued to let him initiate most of the calls but now I don’t know if he’s gotten ‘settled in’, but when I don’t see him, he doesn’t call that often.It’s not that I never hear from him, there is the occasional text, call etc., but for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, it’s less calling than I’m used to and although everyone is different with how much they call, I think even a goddess might get a little hurt/annoyed by this behavior lol.
Now if you call him on a Thursday, he’s going to notice a deviation from baseline and wonder what’s up. A man will only love you for who really are, not who you’re pretending to be.Dear readers — kindly keep it under 250 words, willya. Also, you are not allowed to put ‘lol’ in a letter unless you actually laugh out loud . As in, “I wonder if I’m overthinking this whole thing (MAM).” Because you musing and mulling.Meaning that you’re laughing at your own writing, which seems mighty unlikely. Or ‘SMHWTMH’ — scratch my head while twirling my hair.I really appreciate your advice and have listened to your CD over and over again.I also followed your Tao of Dating principles, which was beyond enlightening for me, as it turned the tables and made me responsible for doing my own housework and trying to be the goddess and I still think ‘What would a goddess do?Human beings are phenomenally good at noticing deviations from a baseline.So as soon as you’re in an established intimate relationship, decide how often you want to speak to him, and establish that as a baseline.And I do call occasionally and it’s always a good conversation so maybe I’m blowing the whole thing out of proportion, but I feel like if he doesn’t call that maybe he’s not thinking about me, or that a boyfriend ‘should’ call more because he wants to, but I know not to get into ‘should’ thinking!! 1) Should I just call him more if I want to talk and not worry about it seeming aggressive or overbearing cuz I am his girlfriend anyway and not one that would call 5 times a day anyway, we’re talking once every couple days or 2) should I should just suck it up and continue to not call him that much, knowing guys need their space and their cave and try not to let past insecurities get in my way but just continue to be the goddess and enjoy what I do have with this great guy or 3) can I just talk to him about this without sounding needy?Maybe it will be like other issues that I was afraid to bring up, but we had a good conversation from so I don’t know why I’m afraid other than I don’t want to do anything ungoddesslike and screw up this good relationship I finally have.Anyway your help would be greatly appreciated :)) Goodness gracious, Jill!You’re lucky I’m not a lawyer, ’cause then I would have had to charge you 2.83 just for reading this. ‘MAM’, perhaps — it stands for ‘musing and mulling’.