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Questions to ask when you are first dating

"Have you had a talk with yourself to say, 'Am I comfortable with kissing somebody, holding their hand, undressing to a certain level, caressing? These are decisions you need to make ahead of time -- not when you're in the middle of a make-out session and your date is pressuring you to go further.

Once you know your limits, you need to be strong and secure enough to say "no" or "stop" if things are getting too hot and heavy.

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" Are you ready to handle the pressures of hanging out -- and possibly hooking up -- with someone?

Kris Gowen, Ph D, Ed M, a researcher in sexual and mental health at the Portland State University School of Social Work.

In fact, Gowen did a study of girls who had older boyfriends, and she found that freshmen girls who dated junior or senior boys were more likely to go further, and to be forced into doing things they didn't want to do.

A good rule of thumb is not to date anyone who is more than one grade ahead of you, Choate says.

"Just because a girl looks like she's 16 when she's only 11, it doesn't mean that psychologically or emotionally she's ready to date older boys...

they are so much more skilled at this dating game than she would be, and they can manipulate her and hurt her," says Laura Choate, Ed D, a licensed professional counselor, associate professor of counselor education at Louisiana State University, and author of the book, Girls' and Women's Wellness: Contemporary Counseling Issues and Interventions.

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