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You blame yourself that maybe there was something that you could or should have done or picked up on.

I also lost my husband of 49 years on 1-2-16 and feel that I don’t have anything left to live for and am just waiting to join them but I have 2 other adult children and would never chose suicide because I know how much pain it causes those left behind. Some of the best times that we spent was just taking a ride and stopping for a cup of coffee, sitting out on the porch and talking, or watching television together.

Groups can also be a forum for brainstorming coping techniques as members share some of the ways they have been able to move toward healing.I ache for my husband every day, and I still reach for him at night, as I used to do when I would check on him. It is just too much to try to wrap your head around until it happens. You commented that all you have done is sleep and cry since your husband’s passing, but you followed this up by saying, “at least, that is how it seems.” In reading your follow-up comment, I wondered if, as you were writing this, you realized that you actually have engaged in some other activities in the months since your husband’s death.I talk to him sometimes, all alone, but obviously I don't hear anything back. If this is true, it might be useful to take a look at what those things are and consider what has felt best. —Left Behind Submit Your Own Question to a Therapist Your anguish is palpable in your writing.Try to do more of those things when you feel up to it.The loss of loved one is a universal experience, but everyone’s grieving process is unique and there is not a one-size-fits-all approach.That said, many people find bereavement groups to be very healing experiences.You can heal from this, and I wish you all the best in your process.Kind regards, Sarah Sarah Noel, MS, LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist living and working in Brooklyn, New York.He was on a ventilator for about 3 months and came out of the coma but couldn’t move or walk due to having been bedridden for so long.They had also put a trach in his throat for the ventilator and had him on a feeding tube.


  1. Sarah Noel, MS, LMHC, responds to our latest reader-submitted Dear question.

  2. Dec 12, 2016 After a half-weekend wrap at 6 am Saturday, I wasn’t really upset about having today off. It’s nice to have one zombie day, and one day to do things.

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