It’s important to send some key messages in that conversation: I’m taking this dating thing slow, I’ll typically date in a way that will not take away from our time together as a family, you’ll be the first to know if I ever develop any genuine feelings for anyone.How much you want to discuss your date with your children depends on your relationship with them.
However, you may have a child who wants to hear some simple things about how the date went and it’s okay to share that information, but beware that you’re not using your children as your best friend.Leah Klungness, co-author of The Complete Single Mother, states that post-divorce dating can be stressful for children.Don’t assume that kids will understand the need for a “crazy phase” of dating.While there have been several studies on divorce, remarriage and step-parenting, very few exist for the courtship period parents go through before remarriage.Here are some guidelines to consider concerning post-divorced dating and your children: Adjusting to the idea of dating isn’t just for parents. Constance Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce and We’re Still Family and professor emeritus at University Southern California, recently completed a 20 year longitudinal study on children of divorce.With the US divorce rate still lingering around 50% for first marriages, many children have experienced their parents’ divorce by the time they are eighteen.And most adults are out and dating again within a year after their divorce, sometimes dating several partners before remarriage.More Online Resources: Click here to read a great article from the Boston Globe that includes a list of guidelines surrounding dating after divorce Tips, Resources, and Warning Signs for Divorced Parents: The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) presents a great article on divorce and your children A Family Education article featuring individuals experiences with post-divorce dating and their children A great review of dating, remarriage and children based Constance Ahron’s longitudinal study from Missouri Research: Anderson, E, et al (2004). Ready to take a chance again: Transitions into dating among divorced parents. Tread carefully when introducing children to your new partner.Klungness recommends that any new relationship should be exclusive for several months (that is, a serious relationship and not a casual affair) before they are introduced to the children.